Love Those Who Cannot Love Back

I can always count on having a Valentine...yes, it may sound a little sappy, but it's my parents. They still send me a Valentine. And every year Santa and the Easter Bunny visit. I became cynical about Valentine's Day in junior high...around 5th grade...shortly after the entire class was not required to give everybody a Valentine. It wasn't until this year that I was glad to see Valentine's Day.

My cynical approach was not erased merely because I finally had a Valentine besides my parents, but because I finally came to see, what I believe to be, the true meaning of celebrating love.

We, as humans, have questioned (and still do question) the meaning of life. With no answer, we continue to scratch our head and look up. Is the answer in the heavens? Is there a heaven? Will we ever know? Who is right in their beliefs? Can we all be right?

Regardless of our eternal beliefs, there is an answer that we can all agree on. Just with any multiple choice test, there are answers that "best fit" the question. I believe that the best fit answer to the question "What is the purpose of life?" is: to love.

With love comes relationships. Sounds simple...but life is not simple, so how does that work?

We all know that love is not simple. Our loves (relationships) challenge us, disappoint us, anger us, hurt us, and, ultimately, leave us. Yet, we would never stop loving them. We cannot fathom the thought. So why do we not love those who cannot love back?

Because when you love somebody they love you back. A fair answer and seems completely rational. We, as humans, all have needs. We all need something in return. It's true. Even the most giving and unselfish need something. It's a human need for survival. But if we can love someone even when they challenge us, disappoint us, anger us, hurt us, and, ultimately, leave us, then why can't we love those who cannot love us back?

Now, I'm not naive and I'm not trying to make a blanket statement that we, humans, are cruel. I see charitable acts daily. I know of people who give even when they are in need. Yet, we (as a whole) still struggle to love those who cannot love us back.

Why? I do not know. A part of me thinks it may be because the world is too big, but then I come back to my belief that if we all loved one person who could not love us back, we would change the world. So I am left to believe that the reason is because we are too afraid to give our love away. Not because we are keeping it for someone else, but because by loving you must be willing to share your heart...to put a neon light on your heart that says "OPEN...please come in."

My biggest guilt in life is my unwillingness to open my heart completely. I let people in, but only those I know that will never challenge me, disappoint me, anger me, and, ultimately, leave me. I have known this for awhile. Many who know me have known this for awhile. It was only until recently that I realized that this is what is stopping me from finding my place in the world.

Not only must I be willing to let others in, but I must also be willing to be challenged, disappointed, angered and, ultimately, be left. But more importantly, I will be able to love those who cannot love me back. I will be able to see beyond any barriers that separate me from those who cannot love me back. I will be able to walk with those who cannot love me back. But more important than who I will love is one simple fact: I will be able to love. Myself included.

I will be ok with not getting a Valentine. After all, it's not about getting, but giving.